Some of My Best Friends Are Indians, page 3

 

FADE IN:

EXT. GOLF COURSE DAY

The Grand Chief gets ready to tee off. Two middle aged
Indians, Bob Sam and Sam Bob, walk into his line of vision
and stop close to the Chief. The Chief concentrates on the
ball, gently swinging the club up to the ball in slow short
strokes. Three white men with drivers in hand watch the Grand
Chief getting set to tee off. He sneezes. Bob Sam and Sam
Bob survey the whole scene.

BOB SAM
(English Indian dialect)
Takes big bucks to play here eh?

SAM BOB
(English Indian dialect)
Only rich Hollywood Indians huh?

The Grand Chief bumps the ball off the tee.

GRAND CHIEF
(high nasal stuffed
sound)

Shit.

Bob Sam and Sam Bob watch the Grand Chief's frustration. The
Grand Chief glares at them.

GRAND CHIEF (CONT'D)
(high nasal stuffed
sound)
I'm trying to tee off!

BOB SAM
(English Indian dialect)
You just putted.

SAM BOB
(English Indian dialect)
With a driver huh?

The Chief looks around.

GRAND CHIEF
(high nasal stuffed
sound)
Quit talking like Indians. There's
white guys around here.

SAM BOB
(English Indian dialect)
I see that. Oh exalted Grand Chief,
how can your faithful elders help
your game eh? It's kind of shitty
huh?

The Chief gives each of them an envelope.

GRAND CHIEF
(high nasal stuffed
sound)
Gentlemen, this is a serious matter.
Mercedes Benz medical research
believe we have herbal medicine....
Have we? I could make big bucks. I
mean the tribe...

BOB SAM
Before the next election?

Sam Bob thumbs through the thick letter. Looks at the Chief

SAM BOB
Did you read the entire letter?

GRAND CHIEF
(high nasal stuffed
sound)
Look into it. Just look into it.
God, I've got a hell of a headache.

A coyote watches from nearby bushes. The Chief goes back to
tee off position as Bob Sam and Sam Bob slowly walk away,
looking at their letters. Bob Sam looks up and sees the
coyote. He nudges Sam Bob.

BOB SAM
Toby! What's Toby doing here?

The Chief swings at the ball, sneezes at the same time, and
it dribbles a few yards down the fairway. The coyote trots
out takes the ball and trots away. The chief stares in
disbelief and almost falls to his knees in frustration.

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